Quick and simple lifehacks.
I’m quite afraid that there might be people who will belive in these tips
"I’m not rich"
"But I have a big dick"
"I don’t have a big dick"
"But I am rich"
"And I have a big dick"
imagine if people screamed instead of snored
"Alone is walking along a street, just you and your city, taking things in that you often don’t take the time to appreciate when you’re busy with other people. It is allowing your senses to be your company, talking to you with a million different voices of how good this smells or how wonderful that feels. It is taking the time to soak in your surroundings, instead of just existing blindly within them.
Lonely is seeing something so beautiful that you feel your heart cannot contain it all by itself, that it is going to burst from the radiance that it is longing to express. It is wanting to turn to someone, anyone, and say “Look at that. Isn’t that wonderful?” and realizing that, as with so many other memories of late, there is just no one there to share it with."
THIS IS THE FUNINEST THING IVE EVER SEEN
I gotta be honest hes saying every single thing I was thinking the entire time
"The funny thing about introverts is once they feel comfortable with you, they can be the funniest, most enjoyable people to be around. It’s like a secret they feel comfortable sharing with you. Except the secret is their personality"
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect
attention shoppers, will the owner of the blue monster truck parked outside please report to the front. that thing is fucking sick and the manager wants to shake your hand
- Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
- Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
This is maybe one of the greatest wild life phenomenon on the planet ever captured on lens!
In the sea of Cortez, Baja California, Mexico, a massive congregation of Munkiana Devil Rays, relative of manta rays, was captured by a German photographer Florian Schulz, displaying unusual event which he dubbed as the Flight of the Rays.
But as this wonderful perspective shows, for all the individuals leaping out that are visible at sea level, there are many more below the surface. The jaw-dropping image below shows only a quarter of the whole scene.
No one knows why the rays gather like this, whether to mate, herd prey or migrate or just for the sheer joy of being together.
Talk Leedle To Me
(I have no regrets.)
hHELP IM FUCKIGN DYING
O H MY GOD
THIS WAS SO MUCH GREATER THAN I EXPECTED
OKAY LISTEN UP KIDDOS I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU i made this my ringtone and a few days later i forgot about it and went to a church thing with my grandmother and im standing there talking to a bunch of southern hardcore christians and my grandma can’t find me so she decides to call me and THIS FUCKING RINGTONE GOES OFF and im so stunned i don’t pick it up until its on its second time playing and i can hear my grandmother laughing from the other side of the huge fucking church. so long story short im haven’t been invited since.
THIS PLEASES ME ON A LEVEL I CANNOT EXPLAIN